xXx: Return of Xander Cage

On VOD:
xXx: Return of Xander Cage

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xXx: Return of Xander Cage.  Rating: 2 (out of 5). Xander Cage is left for dead after an incident, and now he secretly returns for a new, tough assignment with his handler Augustus Gibbons. The movie will come to VOD on Tuesday, May 16. According to The Seattle Times, “xXx: Return of Xander Cage is the movie equivalent of cotton candy: all empty calories. Excessive consumption of this product is likely to give a body the queasies.”

Starring: Vin Diesel, Donnie Yen, Deepika Padukone
Director: D.J. Caruso
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Action, Adventure, Thriller

 

REVIEWS

The New York Times says, “Characters are simply triggers for the overwrought action sequences, though between the Edward Scissorhands editing and occasional wobbling background, even those are less than distinct.”

Chicago Tribune gives the movie 2.5 stars, and further says, “The punch lines are mostly silly, sometimes funny, but when Xander starts opining about extreme stunts, it tips over into unintentionally hilarious territory.”

According to The Seattle Times, “xXx: Return of Xander Cage is the movie equivalent of cotton candy: all empty calories. Excessive consumption of this product is likely to give a body the queasies.”

Variety thinks, “Rarely do five minutes elapse between some sort of laugh-out-loud absurdity, and the distinction between the film’s intentional and unintentional comedy grows hazier as it goes.”

Philadelphia Inquirer gives the film 0.5 out of 4 stars, and calls the film “A shameless, empty-headed, and repetitious heap of remarkably tedious CGI-enhanced action scenes slapped together by the otherwise reliable sci-fi and horror director D.J. Caruso (Disturbia, The Disappointments Room), xXx: Return of Xander Cage is the third film in the Vin Diesel-powered xXx franchise about espionage and international terrorism.”

New York Daily News finds, “Diesel is the star (as well as a producer), in every scene. And he drags the film down with him. He’s like an old 45 played at 33, big and deep and s-l-o-o-o-w, no matter how much the editing tries to speed things up.”

The Hollywood Reporter calls the film “A reasonably entertaining popcorn movie experience.”

Arizona Republic gives the movie 2 stars, and further notes, “Some sage advice is dispensed near the very end of the movie: “Kick some (butt), get the girl and try to look dope while you’re doing it.” Alas, the words of wisdom come too late. “xXx: Return of Xander Cage” manages everything but the most crucial bit.”

Austin Chronicle says, “Collette – usually a delight – sounds like she’s phonetically speaking a foreign language. Not even Judi Dench could sell these lines.”

The Globe and Mail gives the film 2 out of 4 stars, and further notes, “It goes without saying that the American public’s relationship to the NSA has changed dramatically since the first xXx movie in 2002 – a sea change that this film seeks to play up – but the script, written by F. Scott Frazier, doesn’t quite know what to do with its critique of the NSA’s unchecked power.”

The Telegraph thinks, “The movie wastes chance after chance to pull together a satisfying action sequence, or give us anything to look at that’s not lame, spatially confusing, and badly lit.”

The Guardian gives the movie 3 out of 5 stars, and further writes, “Vin, great ridiculous beefcake lunk that he is, does provide us with some fun.”

Consequence of Sound gives the film a C rating, and further notes, “Here’s a movie riddled with the best and worst tendencies of current-era Hollywood action in equal doses.”

Movie Nation observes, “Return of Xander Cage adds up to a movie “all jacked up on Red Bull and Mountain Dew.” And we all know how bad that stuff is for you.”

Empire Online gives the movie 3 out of 5 stars, and further notes, “We’ve seen all these stunts pulled before, and seen them done better, but there’s some pleasure to be had here — even if it’s of the extremely guilty kind.”

ReelViews says, “A shift in tone to something like “Kingsman” might have made this a more entertaining experience.”

Indiewire gives the movie a D rating, and further notes, “Even in the weak signal that is the January movie season, xXx: The Return of Xander Cage hardly registers.”

RogerEbert.com finds, “Speaking strictly for myself, Vin Diesel, here coming back to play Xander Cage, the James Bond of skateboarding character he originated in 2002’s “XXX” is the least exciting component of this 3D slam-bang fest.”

Rolling Stone thinks, “Diesel has chosen to keep selling stupid to audiences who are inexplicably eager to gobble it up. Damn shame.”

Slant Magazine observes, “Quibbles dissipate in the face of the giddiness of the action, which builds to such a relentless head that even the serious stakes of the film’s motivation give way to a largely pleasant vibe.”

A.V. Club gives the movie a C rating, and further notes, “It’s inelegant, sure. But for a movie whose intended effect is not unlike that of mainlining an energy drink, it’s also appropriate.”

The Playlist finds, “One should applaud Diesel and Caruso for breathing unexpected energy into what could’ve been another lame, uninspired continuation. It’s wild, loud and totally out of control, and that’s periodically a pretty good thing.”

We Got This Covered gives the film 3.5 out of 5 stars, and further notes, “It may be messy, but the parts that matter go for broke with breakneck ambition.”

The Verge thinks, “Make no mistake: the new XXX is as dumb as its title suggests. But as a leader defining where dumb action movies should go in the years ahead, it’s surprisingly solid.”

Total Film gives the movie 2 out of 5 stars, and further writes, “Somewhat impressively, it’s even stupider than this outlandish synopsis sounds, with action that makes the F&F movies look grounded, “hip” dialogue that induces spasms of embarrassment and a shockingly casual disregard for human life. Donnie Yen doing his thing proves the film’s sole saving grace.”

 

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